You Keep On Breaking My Heart
by d4nc3-f0r-th3m
Summary: Harry loves Louis. Louis is oblivious. Kelly wants Louis. Louis wants her back. Harry's hurt and Zayn's there to comfort him. Zayn/Harry/Louis One Direction
1. Chapter 1

Harry watched Louis watch Kelly who was on the dance floor. Louis had been pursuing Kelly for the past two weeks. They had kissed but that was it. Harry knew what Louis wanted from her and he knew he was going to get it. "Just got out there and dance her then." Harry muttered tipping his beer back to his mouth.

"Nah, I'm hanging with you mate ." Louis clapped Harry on the shoulder giving him a cheeky grin.

"Staring at Kelly is hanging with me?" Harry shook his head and grinned back. He couldn't help it. Harry had never stayed mad at Lou for longer than one afternoon. If he was going to be honest with himself he had to admit he loved Louis more than anything. He couldn't stop it if he wanted. But Louis want Kelly. Kelly wanted Louis. It was going to happen and Harry's heart broke at the thought.

"You sure I can go dance? If you want me to stay Harry I will." Louis looked so eager. He couldn't tell him no, tell him to stay. It was selfish.

"Go on then, boobear." Harry pushed at Louis as he got up. Harry's voice was quiet though.

"Oh Hazza, you're so good to me." And off he went to the dance floor leaving Harry alone on the couch with a ache in his chest. The longer he sat there the more he wanted to rip his eyes out. The way Kelly touched Lou. Her smile, body language all screamed sex. Louis was just lapping and sending her the same signals. Harry felt ready to throw up, scream, break something, fall to pieces and cry. He hated feeling like this.

Two beer bottles clinked together as they were sat down onto the end table in front of Harry breaking his concentration. He felt the weight of someone sitting beside him before a arm was slung around his shoulders. Lips pressed to his ear as they shifted closer. Harry knew who it was before they spoke. "My offer still stands you know."

"No Zayn, Harry said coldly looking into Zayn's mocha colored eyes. Zayn was pouting.

"Why not?" He shifted even closer as his fingers played with the curls at the back of Harry's head. "It'll make you feel better."

"Because I'm not like _that_." Harry told him keeping his eyes trained on Louis's swaying body.

"Like what? Gay? I'm not gay Harry, I just like to mix it up sometimes." Zayn smirked and bit his bottom lip.

"_No_," Harry hissed trying to scoot away.

"Haaarrryyyy," Zayn cooed.

"I never realized how annoying you are. Just leave me alone!" Harry finally turned to face Zayn fully. "I don't want _you_."

"For what?" Harry heard Louis say as he plopped down on the coffee table.

"Solo practice," Zayn answered quickly smacking Harry in the back of his head. "Won't even let me practice with him."

"Because he's teasing me!" Harry huffed covering the conversation from just a few seconds ago. He hated hiding things from Louis. But its not like he noticed, he was completely oblvious.

"Play nice kids," Louis gave them a wink and was gone again.

* * *

><p>"Why'd you leave?" Kelly huffed as Louis returned to her side.<p>

"Had to check on Harry." Louis told her shortly glancing over worriedly to see him and Zayn arguing again. "I had to make sure he was ok."

"You're awfully protective of him Lou. Makes a girl jealous."

"Aw babe, you know I'd do the same for you." Louis pulled her to him as he gave her a soft kiss. Leaning up she whispered something in his ear causing him to smile slyly. "Later then, eh?"

"Of course. I'll be over later." She winked at him before leaving. Louis had a big night ahead of him.


	2. Chapter 2

Harry lay awake unable to block the noises coming from Louis's room through the thin walls. Lou had brought Kelly home with him as he knew he would. The noises though. The squeaking of the bed. Kelly's screams. Harry just couldn't take it anymore. Grabbing his keys he ran to his car away from the terrible noises. Tears stung the back of his eyes the farther he drove. He knew exactly where he was going.

Parking crooked in the driveway he ran to the door beating it with his fists. "Zayn! Zayn open the door dammit!"

The door opened to show a disgruntled and shirtless Zayn Malik. "Harry what the hell? Its two in the morning-" He trailed off noticing Harry's tears. "What happened?"

"I want you," Harry said before pulling Zayn into a kiss. "I want you Zayn."

"Tell me what happened," Zayn said holding Harry's face between his hands.

"What does it matter? You wanted sex and I'm giving it to you!" Harry attempted to kiss Zayn again but his grip was too strong.

"Harry," Zayn locked eyes with him causing the tears to fall even harder.

"He's with her Zayn," Harry's lip trembled as he tried to get the words out. "I need you."

Zayn didn't even hesitate. He just pulled Harry inside and crushed his lips into the younger boy's. Harry quickly took his shirt off before pulling Zayn hard against him. Zayn's hands were everywhere. Harry quickly wrapped his legs around Zayn already feeling his erection grow in size. Zayn carried Harry back to the couch. They never would have made it to the bedroom at the pace they were going. Harry's back thudded against the lumpy cushions as Zayn worked on his belt. Harry felt like he was in a daze. He couldn't believe he was acutally doing this with Zayn of all people.

Suddenly his pants were off and the cold air engulfed his half-naked form. Harry's erection strained against the thin fabric of his underwear. Zayn already had his pants off by the time Harry finally looked up at him. Zayn didn't waste a second. He was on Harry before he could take a breath, which had become quite difficult anyways. His lips were everywhere. He rolled his hips into Harry's making him release the moan he had been trying to repress. Zayn's hand were cold as he touched Harry's hips slowly sliding his boxers off.

"Well Hazza," Zayn breathed trying to regain his breath. "Never thought we'd be here."

He drew his fist over Harry's length gaining mulitiple shivers and a long drawn out moan. "Zayn, c'mon please."

"What?" Zayn smirked at the look of pleasure that crossed Harry's face.

"Go faster," Harry bucked his hips into Zayn's hand. Zayn's hand began to slowly build speed. Harry was squirming under him, breath hot and heavy, moans escaping his mouth every few seconds. "Zayn I'm close."

Harry noticed Zayn's hand on his own erection. He pulled Zayn's mouth quickly to his, nipping his lower lip begging for entrance. Zayn's mouth opened with ease as he tangled his tongue with Harry's. Harry took hold of Zayn's length and began to work at the same rhythm Zayn kept on Harry. Their breath mingled and Harry was pressing hot kisses agaisnt Zayn's neck, shoulder, jaw, everywhere he could reach. With a shout Harry came all over Zayn's hand. It didn't take long for Zayn after Harry's satisfied moans. They sat there just watching each other for a few minutes. Zayn kissed Harry softly before getting up. He left and came back with a wet towel. Gently he began wiping Harry's hand off and cleaning himself up.

"Didn't know you'd be so damn good, Harry." Zayn smirked at the blush that flooded Harry's face.

What had he just done? And with Zayn of all people. Harry laid down on the couch feeling the tears slip down his face again. He was going numb all over again. Zayn laid down next to him and wrapped a arm around him. "Don't cry Harry."

"I'm sorry," Harry whispered as his voice broke.

"It's ok," Zayn hushed Harry and started to sing a old nursery rhyme. Harry eventually fell asleep, tears gathering on the pillow his head rested on.


	3. Chapter 3

Harry woke to the smell of bacon floating through the air. Rubbing his face, he sat up looking around. He was still at Zayn's. Glancing towards the kitchen Harry spotted his friend drinking orange juice as he read the newspaper. Looking down he realized he was still naked. Wrapping the blanket around himself he stood. "Z-Zayn?"

"Hmmm," Zayn mumbled turning the page.

"Where are my clothes?"

Zayn looked up and caught sight of Harry's flushed face. Smirking he got another glass down and poured some orange juice in it. "In the wash."

"Why?"

"They were on the floor all night and they got dirty." Zayn chuckled and handed Harry the glass. "You hungry?"

"No," Harry's voice was quiet.

"You're regretting it, aren't you?" Zayn sat on the end table as he stared at Harry.

"A little bit," Harry admitted glancing at Zayn before looking away quickly. "I shouldn't have used you, Zayn."

"Its ok Hazza," Zayn ruffled Harry's hair.

"No it isn't Zayn!" Harry shouted as the guilt got to him. "It was wrong! You don't derserve to be treated this way! I-"

Zayn kissed Harry cutting him off. "Harry shut up. Its fine. I'm willing as long as you are. Its casual sex. No one has to know. I don't mind." Pushing his mouth to Harry's again he kissed him much harder.

"But-"

"Harry shut up," Zayn growled in his ear as he kissed his neck.

"I need clothes!" Harry shouted pushing Zayn back by his shoulders.

"Laundry room," Zayn pointed down the hall. "You know where it is."

"Are they clean?" Harry twisted the blanket nervously.

"Most likely. If not take something of mine." Zayn threw himself onto the couch as Harry walked away. "Nice ass Harry."

"Shut up!" Harry squeeled as he ran to the laundry room. All he could hear from the other room was Zayn's laughter. Reaching into the dryer he pulled out his wet clothes. Groaning he threw them back in and turned it on. Looking around the assortment of clean clothes Harry picked up a black t-shirt of Zayn's and a pair of underwear.

"I look stupid." Harry said as he walked back into the living room.

"Nah, you look cute Hazza." Zayn pulled him onto the couch and wrapped a arm around his shoulders. "Lou is probably worried."

Harry sighed and pushed a hand through his hair. "No he isn't. He's probably still in bed with Kim."

Zayn looked at Harry as he lit a cigarette. "Think so?"

"I _know_ so Zayn." Harry stared at him.

"D'you think we should still be in bed?" Zayn took a long drag before smiling at Harry.

"What? _NO_." Harry shook his head quickly but Zayn was already kissing his jaw. Harry put his hands on Zayn's shoulders to push him away but all he did was end up pulling him closer. "Zayn we shouldn't. Liam or somebody could come over."

"Shh," Zayn said leaning up quick enought to peck Harry on the lips. He was sucking and nipping at one spot on Harry's shoulder that was producing whimpers from the younger boy. "All done."

"What?" Harry looked startled.

"Thought you were scared someone would walk in." Zayn smirked and leaned back on the cushions.

"What do you mean 'all done'?" Harry touched his neck warily. Zayn just smiled at him and gestured towards the mirror. Looking he turned his head to the side to see what Zayn done. He had left a hickey. Blood flooded Harry's face as he clamped a hand over it. "What did you do that for?"

"Let Louis wonder where you went last night." Zayn giggled and gave Harry a kiss. "You really don't know what you've gotten yourself into Haz."

Harry groaned and covered his face. Where had his sanity gone?


	4. Chapter 4

Harry walked through the door to the flat he shared with Louis. Giggling from the couch followed by Louis's laughter let Harry's suspicsions be confirmed. Kelly was still here. He set his keys down onto the counter and made his way over to the fridge. It was well into the afternoon now. He didn't mean to stay that long at Zayn's. Just the thought of Zayn colored Harry's cheeks. His fingers touched the spot where Zayn had left a hickey.

"Harry? Harry where'd you run off to last night?" Louis called from the couch.

"Shit!" Harry hissed under his breath as he dropped the milk carton he had been holding. "I went for a drink Lou."

Harry turned around to find Louis behind him with a roll of paper towels. "You went for a drink? Without me?" His tone was playful but his eyes were hurt.

"Didn't think it'd be a big deal." Harry tore a few sheets off the roll and started soaking up the spilt milk.

"Its ok Haz," Louis rocked back on his heels.

"Ok-" Harry started as he got back up from the ground.

"I just mean we always go together. Everytime." Louis continued shaking his head. "Why'd you go you without me?"

"I was bored."

"You should have gotten me."

Harry scoffed and tossed the soiled paper towels into the trash. "You were kind of busy, boobear."

Louis lifted his hand, hesitated, then headed back to the couch where Kelly was still sitting. _He could be so weird sometimes,_ Harry thought sitting at the island. Harry ran a hand through his hair as he sighed.

"Harry! Oh my God! Is that a hickey?" Kelly shierked as she bounded over to the island.

"W-What? Oh. Uhm, yeah." Harry coughed awkwardly feeling Louis's eyes trained on his neck.

"Who is she?" Kelly pushed smiling.

"Uhm," Harry rubbed the back of his neck. "I don't want to talk about it. It was a regret Kelly."

"How boring," she whispered turning back around to face Louis. "Babe, I'm hungry. Let's go out to eat."

"Sure," Louis answered her. "Go get dressed then."

She was gone in a few seconds leaving Harry alone with Louis in silence. He stared at his hands as Louis's eyes bored into his face. "Who was she?"

"Who?" Harry tried to sound innocent.

"The girl you stayed the night with." He cleared his throat walking closer to Harry. His hand touched the hickey and Harry supressed the shiver that was running down his spine. "The one who left you here little love bite there."

"I dunno," Harry hated lying. But what would Lou say if he knew Harry had been with Zayn?

"You dunno? How scandelous Haz."

"Why do you care?" Harry breathed trying to keep his voice steady.

"I don't," Louis answered coldly retreating back to the other side of the island. Harry tried swallowing around the lump in his throat but it was too hard. The tears were burning his nose and the embarrassment at his situation were almost too much. "You almost done Kelly?"

"Yeah! All done!" She ran out and gave Louis a quick kiss. "Let's go. Bye Harry!"

Harry gave a weak wave without even looking. The tears were already dripping down his face. Louis wouldn't have noticed the small shake in Harry's shoulders because he wouldn't even look at him anymore. Not since Kelly had come in the room. Kelly just didn't care he supposed. The door shut and Harry let the tears come fully. he couldn't take it. Any of it. _"I don't,"_ echoed through Harry's head. Of course he doesn't care. Why would he? Harry was being pathetic. He was angry with himself for letting Lou get to him like he did.

Turning he opened the fridge and got a beer out. Popping the lid he went to the couch and downed it in a few gulps. "You're a prick Louis." He said aloud staring at the coffee table. The tears were still falling but he didn't take notice. Crushing the can he threw it on the floor. "Oh hi I'm Louis and I act like I care so much about you! But then when it matters the most I take it back! Ohohohoho." Harry mocked wiping his face with the back of his hand.

* * *

><p>Louis stared at the street his grip on the wheel so tight it turned his knuckles white. Harry's lips. He should have kissed him. A long time ago at that. How hurt he looked when Louis told him he didn't care. Louis couldn't believe he had let those words slip through his lips. Harry had been crying. Because of him. What was wrong with himself? How could he hurt Harry like that.<p>

"Louis..." Kelly trailed off looking at him. "A-Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Louis turned and smiled at her. "Everything's peachy, luv."

"Okay!" She giggled and turned back to look out the window.

No! Nothings okay! He wanted to scream at her. But he couldn't hurt her too. Harry was Harry. Louis shouldn't be thinking of him that way anyway.

* * *

><p>The doorbell rang a couple times before Harry got up and acutally answered it. It was Zayn and Liam. Harry swallowed the flush that was trying to reach his face. "Hey."<p>

"Are you okay?" Liam asked instantly looking worried.

"Yeah. I was, uhm, watching Titanic and got a bit emotional." Harry lied as he found Zayn's eyes. He saw right through Harry's lie.

"Lou here?" Liam asked barging through the door into the living room. "Damn Haz. Had enough beers?"

"What? Oh. There's still some left if you want some."

Liam made his way to the kitchen. Harry made way to follow him but he was pulled back by Zayn. "Let's talk."

"But-" Harry began before Zayn asked loudly, "Harry you got any stain remover? Yeah? Show me."

With that Harry was pulled into the laundry room. He was forcefully pushed into the dryer by Zayn, who's arms barracaded him from he leaving. "What the fuck Zayn?"

Zayn's mouth found Harry's. The light was still off and Harry fumbled with his hands as he tried to push Zayn backward. "Here? Now?"

"Why not?"

"We just-" Harry stopped as Zayn pulled him closer.

"So?"

"Liam's in the other room. He'll think something is up." Harry held onto Zayn's shirt as he rolled his hips into Harry's. His breath became heavy. "Later Zayn."

Zayn kissed Harry quickly before dropping to his knees. Harry's hands found their way to Zayn's hair. "You're presistent aren't you?"

"Mhmmmmm," Zayn hummed.

"Fucking hell Zayn." Harry moaned as quietly as possible.

* * *

><p>Liam sat on the couch eating popcorn and drinking a soda unaware of the whole situation watching a rerun of Titantic. "C'mon Rose! You had room on that piece of wood for him too! You're so selfish!" He continued on with a very long speech about how you don't do that to your true love with tears rolling down his face. It had been a emotional day for all the boy's so far. But where was Niall? Nando's of course.<p>

* * *

><p><em> (AN: I had to add some comic relief. And well I had to get some of my Nialler mentioned somewhere. Hehe please review.)_


	5. Chapter 5

Shivering Harry crawled closer to the warmth next to him. The morning light shown through the blinds rousing Harry from his deep sleep. He wanted nothing more than to fall back asleep and go back to his dreams where he laid in Louis's arms. But here he was with Zayn's arm wrapped tightly around his waist.

"Hey handsome," Zayn mumbled into Harry's shoulder leaving a quick nip.

"It's cold," Harry whispered pressing closer to Zayn.

"Maybe that's because you're naked." Zayn giggled quietly leaning up on his elbow. "I had fun last night."

Harry raised an eyebrow. It'd been almost a month since they had begun this relationship. He pushed himself up enough to where he could tease Zayn with light brushes of his lips. "You really weren't supposed to spend the night."

"I know," he whispered kissing Harry fully on the mouth. "But someone wore me out."

"Like its all my fault." Harry giggled as Zayn rolled on top of him. He bit Harry's shoulders producing shivers from him. "Zayn you need to go before Louis or someone walks in."

"Do you," Zayn kissed him hard on the mouth, "want breakfast?"

Harry kissed him deeply slipping his tongue in as he pulled him closer. "What type of breakfast?"

"Mr. Styles that's quite scandelous." Zayn answered rolling off. He leaned up and stretched. "Y'know you've gotten better."

"At what?"

"Sex," Zayn answered with a laugh. "You were kind of terrible at the beginning."

"Fuck you Zayn." Harry said nipping Zayn below his jaw. He let his hand trail down his chest until he reached Zayn's waist when the when the door opened.

"Harry Louis wants to talk to-" Niall stopped mid-sentence mouth hanging open and stared. "What are you doing?"

"Niall shut the door!" Harry yelled as he blushed.

Niall shut the door as told and stepped farther into the room. "Did you guys fuck last night or?"

"Yes," Zayn said at the same time as Harry shouted, "NO."

They stared at each other for a minute before Zayn looked back at Niall. "Yes we did Niall. You can't tell anybody. Not even Liam."

"You really think I'd tell?" Niall pouted.

"Honestly yes." Harry stated moving away from Zayn quickly. He noted the hurt look Zayn gave him. What was that for?

"Scout's honor," Niall stated saluting them. "But Louis really wants to talk to you Harry."

Harry looked at Zayn and shrugged. "You should probably go."

"Yeah," Zayn clenched his jaw as he began to put his clothes back on.

Harry put on a pair of pants before leaving the room without a backwards glance. What did Louis want? He never wanted to talk anymore. He had Kelly. What could he possibly want from Harry? He had reached Louis's room. Knocking he felt his palms start to sweat.

"Lou?" Harry called out. His voice cracked and he tried to hide it with a cough.

"Yeah come on in Harry."

Harry pushed the door open and walked slowly in. Louis came out of his closet putting on his shirt. Harry could feel his heart speed up just at the sign of him. 'What'd you want boobear?"

Louis smiled and walked closer to Harry. "I wanted to apoligize."

"For what?" Harry asked puzzled.

"For, um, being so distant lately. We're best friends aren't we?" Louis touched Harry's shoulder. Harry suddenly became hyper aware that he was shirtless.

"Of course," Harry answered licking his lips. His heart was beating out of his chest. Louis had to be able to hear it. Harry could have sworn that Louis's eyes flicked towards his lips. Maybe that was just wishful thinking. Maybe it was until Louis kissed him. It was soft and sweet. Tender. Completely the opposite of Zayn's harsh kisses. Harry leaned into it pressing himself into Louis. Finally he pulled away.

"I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry." Louis said instantly. He regretted it.

"Its ok," Harry whispered. "I-I shouldn't have kissed you back. We'll just forget about it, eh?"

With that Harry fled the scene and back to his now vacant room. The tears ran down his face. Louis regretted kissing him. But why would he enjoy it?

* * *

><p>Zayn took a drag off of his cigarette as he stared at the ground. What was going on with him? So what if Harry still had feeling for Louis? It shouldn't bother him. No they were just having fun. They were just fuck buddies. There was nothing more to their relationship other than that and the friendship they had before that. But Zayn couldn't help finding himself wanting Harry for more than his body.<p>

He wanted to take Harry out for dates. He wanted everyone to know that he had Harry Styles in the palm of his hand. That Harry was his for the taking.

Zayn dropped his cigarette as he realized what it all meant. He was devolping feelings for him. He had fallen for Harry Styles.

* * *

><p>AN: Quick chapter. It's kind of suck-y. Sorry.


	6. Chapter 6

Harry sat between Louis and Zayn on the way to the local club. The tension in the car was oblivous to Niall and Liam who were chatting away in the front seat. Harry glanced tentaivly at Louis then Zayn. What was he going to do? He was having sex with Zayn but he had kissed Louis. But he had also told Lou to forget about it. That's what was best right? To forget about it? Harry didn't know anymore. All of this was piling up and it was giving him a headache. Honestly he just wanted to take Zayn somewhere secluded and have a quick shag. One single glance from Lou had him regretting that thought. He loved Lou didn't he?

Zayn's arm casualy slipped around Harry's shoulders. There was nothing paticuraly weird about it. It was a casual thing to do. But he could feel the posseviness behind it. "Liam d'you think you could drive a bit faster? I need out of this car."

"Not when there's a whole line of traffic in front of me Harry."

Harry groaned and threw his head back. He caught site of Zayn smirking. "What?"

"Nothing," Zayn laughed looking out the window. It just rubbed Harry the wrong way. He shifted away from him and banged his head against Louis's. Moving back he just bumped into Zayn.

"Sorry," Harry rubbed his head as his cheeks tinged a pale pink. Louis just looked away and shrugged. It stung a bit. Usually he would just laugh it off and crack a joke. Something was obviously bothering him. Was it the kiss? Harry shook off the thought. He had to stop thinking about it. What good would it do to keep running it through his mind? None. Zayn leaned towards him and pressed his mouth to his ear. His breath was hot. "It's cute when you get embarassed Haz."

Harry sighed and put his hands in his hair. What kind of mess had he gotten himself into? Glancing over he caught Louis looking at him. Holding the gaze he took in every inch of Louis's face. Desperately trying to memorize it. The clench of his jaw, the slight agitation that shown in his eyes. For what? Was it Harry? Was it his prescence? They seemed to stare at each other for what seemed like an hour. The car jerked to a stop at the curb.

"We're here lads!" Niall cheered opening his door.

Louis looked away quickly as he stepped out of the car. "I'm meeting Kelly tonight."

Was his intention to hurt Harry by his words? If so, it worked, because Harry stood frozen. Zayn's warm hand on his shoulder was the only thing that brought him back. Harry nodded and scrambled out after Zayn. The cold air swallowed him up as he leaned back against the van. The effect simple words from Lou had on him still surprised him. He headed into the club without a backwards glance at the figure who still had him in the palm of his hand. The music was pulsing and the energy helped Harry spring back into action. Zayn passed a pill to each of the boys before heading upstairs. What the hell? Harry thought popping the pill and chasing Zayn upstairs.

Harry's head was spinning by the time he reached the top. Zayn was swaying back and forth by the banister overlooking the dance floor. Harry pushed himself forward as colors swirled by him. Everything glittered and danced. He reached toward Zayn and kissed him. It was rough. Pushing Zayn into the couch behind him was easy. It was trying to get his pants off that proved difficult. Harry's fingers were too shaky to unbutton his or Zayn's pants. He would have asked Zayn but he was shaking too.

"Forget it," Zayn answered pulling Harry against him. His lips attached to his pulse point and he sucked hard enough to recieve a whimper from Harry. Harry ground his hips into Zayn producing a groan from both boys.

"What the fuck did you give us Zayn? It feels amazing." Harry kissed him roughly again feeling as if he were a live wire.

"Harry what are you doing?" Louis shouted at him. Through the haze Harry made out the words and pulled away from Zayn. Louis's face was contorted with rage. Why? What had Harry done wrong?

"I-I'm," he stumbles over his words but the drug is still working through his veins and he can't talk right. Zayn pulls him against his chest as Harry collapses into sobs that rack his whole body. Harry didn't understand. He covered his ears with his hands and pressed his mouth against Zayn's shoulder to block out his cries. His life was crumbling in front of him.

"Don't touch him!" Louis shouted at Zayn. Harry could still hear him. Nothing was blocking out the noise. Lou was too close to them anyways. His shouts could be heard well over the music.

"Says the guy who put him in this kid of condition. You're not good for him Lou. Never were." Zayn answered brushing his hand through Harry's hair.

"And you are? You're what's good for him?" Louis shouted again causing Harry to shut his eyes tightly. "You're just using him for sex!"

"He's not protesting is he?" Zayn asked. That shut Louis up and before he could think of anymore to say Harry gently whispered, "Go away Lou."

The look of hurt that crossed Louis's face killed Harry. But he couldn't deal with the yelling, with all the fighting right now. Everything was still spinning. Louis retreated before anymore could be said. Harry just lay in Zayn's arms until it was past time to leave and cried. What was he going to do?


	7. Chapter 7

Harry looked out the window as the rain poured down. Zayn had gotten a taxi to take them home. Harry didn't want to go and face Louis. But wasn't it better to do it now rather than later? Harry clutched Zayn's hand tightly. The drug had finally left his system after he had stopped crying but he was still shaking. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Isn't it the right thing to do?" Harry asked turning to meet Zayn's eyes. "I don't want to hurt anyone but he deserves a explanation."

Zayn opened his mouth, hesitated, then shut his mouth again and leaned back against the seat. Harry watched him wondering what was going on inside his head. "Zayn?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you ok?" Harry asked raising his eyebrows.

"No," Zayn wouldn't quite meet his eyes.

Harry moved closer and bumped his shoulder against Zayn's. "Why?"

Zayn finally looked up and Harry could see the tears in his eyes. "Because you're killing me Harry. Why do you keep going back to Louis? He isn't going to give you anything but pain!"

Harry was stunned into silence. "We kissed today."

"Because that makes everything ok, right? A little kiss from Lou, eh? Even when he treats you like shit for the rest of the day?" Zayn wiped his hand across his face. "I don't get you Harry Styles."

"I love him, Zayn. You know that I do."

Zayn shook his head and gave a bitter laugh. "I'm sorry then."

His voice was husky from crying and he was breathing shallow. "Zayn you have to understand. I thought you understood! I _need_ you Zayn."

"Admit it," Zayn shrugged as he whispered the last part of his sentence. "You don't need me Harry."

Harry's throat tightened and he gripped Zayn's hand harder. "I do need you Zayn."

"Why?" The word was so cold. Like a shard of ice cutting through Harry.

"You're the only who can make me feel better. You make me not numb."

Zayn's free hand went to Harry's thigh and squeezed it gently. "Like that?"

Harry swallowed around the lump in his throat and nodded. Zayn slid his hand up further as Harry shivered. "You only want me physcially, Haz."

"That was the deal though." Harry stated as confusion clouded his brain.

"It was the deal," Zayn pressed his mouth against Harry's ear gently nipping. "It was the deal before I fell in love with you."

Harry turned and looked at Zayn in horror. He loved him? Why?

"Is the thought that horrifying?" Zayn turned away taking his warmth with him.

"No!" Harry shouted pulling Zayn back. "Zayn don't leave me. You can't."

"I can," Zayn said meeting his eyes. "But I just don't want to."

His lips crashed against Harry's and they became a mess of tangeled limbs.

* * *

><p>Louis paced in front of the door waiting for Harry to come running through it. He had to, didn't he? Louis took a swig from the bottle he was holding trying to drown his pain. Nothing would make it go away except for Harry. So <em>where<em> was he? He kicked the end table sending its contents flying across the room. Harry had been with Zayn. For how long? They kissed today for God's sake! Did that mean nothing to him? Louis kept pacing as he waited for Harry to return.

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><p>AN: Thank you all for all of the amazing reviews! You're all so lovely. Can't thank you enough.


	8. Chapter 8

Harry lay in Zayn's bed as the older boy slept, arm thrown across his chest, trying to work out the night's events in his head. Louis had caught him and Zayn. He had yelled until Harry had cried. How could Harry even be thinkning about going back to him and begging for forgiveness? Zayn had confessed his love for Harry. Why did he love Harry? He didn't know why anyone would want to love him. All he had to offer Zayn was sex. Didn't he? His heart skipped a beat as he thought of Zayn confessing again. Could Harry really love him in return? Was it possible to love two people at the same time?

Harry sighed and ran his hand through Zayn's short hair. He couldn't hurt Zayn but he couldn't hurt Louis either. What was he going to do? Zayn rolled away from him onto his side taking the blankets with him. Harry shivered for a few minutes before getting out of bed and pulling his clothes back on. He looked back at Zayn and gave a small smile. He looked just like a little kid. With a pang he walked out the front door.

Pulling the hood of his jacket he walked down the road until he reached his house. It was time to face Louis. It was now or never. As he walked up the walk to the front door he felt his hands begin to shake again. What was he going to tell him? Harry shook his head quickly before pulling the front door open.

"Louis?" He tried but his voice cracked and was too high for normal. "Louis?" He tried again.

"Where have you been?" Louis asked as he tilted the bottle he was holding back draining the last drop.

"I-I was at Z-Zayn's." Harry tumbled over his words as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"Shagging him like the slut you are, eh?" Louis's voice was harsh and it cut through Harry.

"Lou...I can e-explain."

"What is there to explain Harry?" Louis asked jumping to his feet and walking towards Harry. His breath reeked of alcohol as he grabbed Harry by his hair. He pressed his lips to Harry's trembling ones. "Come on Harry, be the slut you are."

"Louis," Harry breathed trying to push him away. "Stop it."

Louis's lips attached to Harry's neck as he nipped at it roughly. "Don't you want it? I'm good enough for a slut like you right?"

Harry whimpered as Louis slammed him into the wall. He grinded his hips into Harry making his knees weak. "Lou," Harry moaned bringing Louis's lips back to his.

"You're such a whore Hazza," Louis whispered against Harry's lips. "Does Zayn touch you like this?"

Louis started palming Harry through his jeans gaining whimpers from the younger boy. Harry looked up at Louis through heavy lids to see the look of anger on his face. It scared Harry. "Stop!"

Louis ignored him as he attached his lips to his collar bone. Harry pushed him back causing him to stumble and fall. "Louis you're drunk! You need to stop!"

"Slut," Louis growled and Harry winced. It hurt him. Harry clenched his jaw and straightened his clothes.

"I'm leaving," Harry said walking to his room.

"Running away to Zayn so you can fuck?"

"No!" Harry shouted turning around. "Why are you being such a prick? You have never cared about me the way I've cared about you! _Why_ are you doing this Louis?"

"Because maybe I care!" He shouted leaning against the door frame.

"Funny way of showing it." Harry growled throwing clothes into a bag.

"Where are you going to go?" Louis's voice softened.

"I don't know," Harry whispered as Louis came up behind him. Louis had wrapped his arms around Harry's torso pulling him against his chest.

"I'm sorry Haz," Louis kissed the back of his neck. "Don't leave me."

"I have to boobear." Harry felt the tears start to fall down his face. "You're not good for me."

Louis turned him around and kissed the tears that lingered on his cheeks. "Baby stay with me a little while."

"No," Harry moved away slinging the bag over his shoulder. "I said no Lou."

Louis smacked Harry across the face hard enough to make him see stars. "Go then."

Harry came to a decision at that moment. "Fine."

That was the moment he decided he was leaving One Direction and going home for good.


	9. Chapter 9

Harry sat at the airport staring at his had the text written and ready to go, but he couldn't will himself to press send. He continued to stare as his heart pounded. This was the right decision, right? He couldn't stay any longer. It was causing him too much pain. All of it. Louis, Zayn, the fame. He couldn't handle it. He just needed to get away from it all. He needed something to distract himself. Across from him sat a vender selling cigarettes for a ridicously high price, but Harry needed it. Harry had only smoked once before and that had been with Zayn.

He tried to shake the memory away as he strode towards the vendor. He handed him the money buying a pack of fags and a lighter. Harry honestly did not care if his picture was taken and was put into some cheap tabloid. He did not give one fuck. Striding towards the entrance to the airport careful to keep his face hidden from the passing people he carefully lit it. He kept checking to see if his plane had been called until he realized that he did not want to go home. Harry Styles did not cry and tattle to his mum.

Inhaling he let the feeling take over, the memory take over. He could suffocate in it if he let himself.

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><p><em> Zayn laid in his bed, hair mussed from their previous activites. His cigarette hanging in the corner of his bruised lips lazily. Harry was stretched out beside him watching in fasination as Zayn inhaled then slowly exhaled. He had never had liked cigarettes before. Harry had always wanted Zayn to stop, but watching him now gave him the urge to try. Zayn's eyes caught the younger boy's and smirked around his fag as he inhaled.<em>

_ "Come here Harry," he whispered blowing smoke towards the younger boy._

_ So Harry obeyed and leaned up towards Zayn to where they were face to face. Zayn slowly inhaled watching Harry's eyes all the while. Something about the way he was looking at him made his cock twitch. It turned Harry on._

_ Zayn pushed his lips against Harry's and slowly prodded the youger boy's lips open. As soon as Harry felt the smoke enter his mouth he let out a low growl in his throat. The smoke mingled between them for a minute before fading away. Zayn kissed him hard on the mouth before taking another puff._

_ "This time inhale it," he advised as he leaned forward again. Harry opened his mouth eagerly and inhaled the smoke as told. He held it for a few seconds before letting it go. Everything about the interaction had turned Harry on completely. _

_ "Fuck you," he muttered looking down at his erection. He was supposed to be going home soon. _

_ "You liked it and you know it, Styles." Zayn laughed putting the cigarette out laughing at Harry's expression._

_ Harry just leaned forward and kissed him roughly. "You take care of this _now_," he gestured to his tented boxers. With a half-growl, half-laugh Zayn rolled ontop of him kissing his neck._

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><p>Harry felt his throat tighten and threw the fag onto the ground. He ground it under his heel maybe a little more forceful than needed. The cold air February air chilled him until he felt numb. He headed inside and grabbed his bag. He wasn't going home. No Harry was not going to allow his mother to see what mess he had gotten into. Tugging his hood up he weaved through the thick crowd until he reached a pub.<p>

It had begun to snow and his eyelashes glittered with melted snow. He knew he looked like shit, but he was getting some looks from certain people. Men and woman knew who he was. Their eyes raked down his body undressing him. He might as well had been naked. Harry made his way to the back trying to ignore the stares he was getting. Some guy, probably his early twenties, stumbled over to his booth.

"Hey cutie what are you doing back 'er all by yourself?" And it wasn't that he wasn't attractive enough or anything, but he also wasn't Zayn or Louis. Harry straightened up and checked him out openly. "Want to do something fun?"

"Like?" Harry asked cooly gesturing for him to sit across from him. The guy had black hair that fell into his eyes a bit. He was tall but kind of lanky. Not Harry's type at all.

The guy flashed a little plastic bag full of white powder. Man was this guy bold.

"We can go outside in the back. No one will see us there." The guy raised a eyebrow.

Harry's thoughts clawed at each other as he tried to make a decision. "Okay." He said before he even realized that he was already nodding.

The guy smiled as he slid out of his booth and walked to the back door. "C'mon then Mr. Styles."

Harry's heart pounded. The worst thing he had done was smoke weed with Louis at a party and smoke with Zayn. He had never done something this extreme. He could hear the blood pumping through his ear. He just wanted to get rid of these feelings. This could get rid of them for a while, couldn't it? He gulped and walked back out into the frigid air. His hands were freezing but he couldn't feel them before anyways.

The guy, he still hadn't told him his name, sat at a small table that had been set up. He dumped the contents onto the table before setting them into lines. He handed Harry the rolled up tube. "Go ahead."

Harry unsure of what to do put his head down and snuffed the line into his nose. His nose felt on fire. He wanted to just scratch it till it bled, but what's-his-face pulled Harry's hand away from his nose. "Don't scratch."

The good feeling started to kick in as Harry looked up at the falling snow. It was better than what he had taken earlier that night. He loved the feeling. Harry let out a long whoop feeling all the things he had felt earlier drain away. That guy was just looking at him with a feral smile. "I just got Harry Styles fucked up."

"And fucked up I am." Harry sang back. He felt on top of the world. Like he could do anything and no one could stop him. "Listen thanks for everything, but I've gotta go babe."

Harry handed the guy some money and kissed him hard. He just sat there frozen as Harry walked through the doorway and out back onto the street. Maybe he wanted to get fucked up more often. It made him feel like king. He raced down the street laughing as people yelled rude comments at him. He felt so free. Harry stopped at the corner when he saw Zayn and Louis arguing. Harry covered his ears and screamed. Severaly people looked over at him worriedly. The only ones who mattered were Zayn and Louis though. It was what he was screaming that got their attention the most.

"I HATE YOU BOTH. I HATE YOU BOTH. WHY DID I EVER GET INVOLED WITH YOU? GET OUT OF MY HEAD. _GET OUT._"

He was shaking so hard and he was choking back the tears. He looked up at them again and saw them running towards him. Harry panicked and ran into the traffic on the other side dodging cars as they raced by honking their horns. When he made it to the other side he didn't stop. He kept running. Harry didn't even know where he was anymore but he felt on fire from the coke. He needed to do something. Harry looked around and fumbled in his pockets. Nothing of interest to him. He looked up again and saw a metal ladder leading to the roof of a abandoned building. He ran to the ladder and gripped it tightly. It was icy in his hands. He started climbing. The top was coming rapidly into his line of vision. His pulse was jumping by the time he stumbled onto the rooftop. He smiled like a maniac as he stood on the very edge.

"Harry Styles get away from that ledge!" He heard from below. He could tell from his accent. It was Zayn.

"Has Mr. Malik come to save me?" Harry teased closing his eyes. "It would be so easy to just fall Zayn. Just fall forever."

"You wouldn't fall forever Harry. You would die." Zayn's voice was so desperate.

"Don't you know? I can fly now Zayn. I'm king of the world and nothing can stop me." Harry spread his arms out to his side feeling weightless. "I could jump and all the rumors and pain and fame could end like that."

"This isn't the way Harry! I'm sorry I hurt you and drove you to something like this." A new voice called. A voice that gave Harry a pain in his chest.

"You wouldn't care Boo Bear." Harry half-smiled but it was bitter. "I would have been okay if you hadn't found out about me and Z. You see Zayn showed me affection of sorts. Maybe it wasn't the best kind, but it made me not numb. Whereas you made me hurt. A lot. That's why I went to Zayn in the first place."

"I said I'm sorry Harry!" Louis shouted desperation filling his voice as well.

"But you will never change. You only wanted me when Zayn had me. Did you know you could love two people at one time? I've just found that out. Everything is a rush when you're on coke. Its easier to tell people things." Harry inhaled and laughed loudly. "Maybe I'm being a bitch squealer, but you fuckers deserve every second of this. I'm quite enjoying this to be honest."

"You're sick Harry," Louis yelled above the roar of the wind. "How could you be enjoying this?"

"Oh Lou I think my cheek is bruised if you were wondering." Harry called down in a sing song voice. "Thank you for that."

"What did you do?" Harry heard very faintly Zayn ask Louis lowly. He never heard Louis's reply because the wind was howling and whipping Harry's hair everywhere.

"See the sick thing is you see I can't live without Zayn. I need him. He makes me feel better. But I can't stop loving you even though I know you'll never return my feelings." Harry sighed and lowered his arms. "Jump or don't jump? Zayn or Louis? Does he love me or does he only want my body? Does it even really fucking matter that much?"

"Harry please stop it! I love you ok! I love you too much to see you like this!" Zayn shouted throwing his hands into the air. Harry opened his eyes and looked down at Zayn. His voice had sounded so geniune. Harry's face was slick with tears he didn't even know had been falling. Zayn's face was so pale and creased with worry. He couldn't look away.

Harry could feel his lips tremble as he said loudly, "Save me then."

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><p><em>(AN: This chapter feels really intense. I would really love the feedback on this chapter especially. aha much love xx)_


	10. Chapter 10

Zayn felt his heart stop at those words. They echoed through the air as he realized what Harry had begun to do. His head was turned toward the ground, shoulders shaking, as he swayed back and forth. He was considering it, Zayn could tell by the set of his jaw. He looked at Louis who was looking at the ground also. Did he not understand what was happening? _Harry could die_, Zayn thought as a shiver passed up his spine. What was he waiting for? He turned and looked at Louis who's eyes were closed. "If you're not going to do anything to stop him then you better as hell call an ambulance and get out of here."

Louis looked up shocked and embarrassed. "W-What am I supposed to do? He's on a fucking ledge already if you didn't notice Zayn. There's nothing to do."

Zayn could have hit him. Beat the shit out of him right then, but that would only upset Harry further. He shook his head and puffed out his cheeks as he ran towards the latter that scaled the side of the building. Zayn was never fond of heights. But at the momment he forgot and started climbing. His hands were clammy and slick with sweat. He was sweating a lot for it to be so cold out. He pulled himself over the edge in time to see Harry start to lean forward too far. Zayn's knees were shaking as he walked across the building's roof. "Harry!" Zayn called out reaching out a hand just as Harry stepped over the edge. He caught his arm and was nearly pulled over the edge himself. Harry was left dangling over the edge, eyes as wide as saucers, and the fear had him trembling harder than he was earlier. Zayn's muscles were straining as he held onto Harry despertaly trying to pull him up.

"I am no letting you die Harry Styles. Not today." He said as he struggled.

"Why not? Just let me go. I want you to let me go Zayn. You know I won't love you the way you love me."

"That doesn't matter! Can't you see? I don't care if you love me the same and right now that isn't important. You're what's important." Zayn said as his voice started rising. "I will not let go of you Harry no matter how much you want it. I _am not letting you die._"

Harry's tears started to flow down his cheeks at a more rapid pace. He held tightly to Zayn as he pulled him up and over the edge. Harry collasped into sobs as Zayn held him in his lap singing soothing melodys. "I'm not worth it."

"You are worth all of this." Zayn mummered as he leaned in and kissed Harry's forhead.

"I choose you," Harry whispered suddenly.

Zayn stopped what he was doing and looked down at Harry. "What did you say?"

"I choose you Zayn. I will always choose you. You're the one who stayed. You're the one who stopped me. How could I not choose you?"

Zayn broke into a smile and kissed Harry gently on the mouth. It was a tender kiss. There was no agression in it or hunger. Just pure bliss. "Let's take you home."

"So you can defile my innocence?" Harry commented.

"No...I've already done that many times. We're going to drink tea and cuddle and watch movies all day." Zayn stood and helped Harry up. "I love you Harry Styles."

"I-I love you too Zayn." Harry stumbled over his words.

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><p>(AN:) Okay,_ so sorry for the short chapter. Like really short. Especially since it's the end. Which makes me sad because I have really enjoyed writing this story and receiving your feedback. I love it and you guys. You're all lovely and fantastic and brilliant. Thank you so much to everyone who reads this story. But...this ending is kind of shit because I'm terrible at ending things. So...yeah the ride has been fun. (-: _


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